Paranoid Parents

I don't think it is paranoid at all to be careful what you share and who you share it with.

oh lol i thought panorama.
i post em on fb but only for friends to see and no swimming pool pics, pedos everywhere.

Actually, I think they're the sane ones. "Over-sharing", as it were, seems to be the more pathological (in a layman's sense) behavior when it comes to these issues. Part of a report that I was reading (that I can't link to, sorry) gives examples of significant information that can be gleaned about family structure, names, addresses, and personal information - all from merely making a public post about a child on 'Facebook'. The authors note that much more information could be available to those who are on a 'friends' list, or those to whom a post might appear on their page.
The report is:

"Children Seen But Not Heard: When Parents Compromise Children's Online Privacy", Proceedings of the 24th International Conference on World Wide Web, Pages 776-786

If anyone can to access it through a University library or whatever, which is how I got hold of it. I've just had a chance to peruse it a bit, but it looks interesting.

Lämmchen said:

I read an article about paranoid parents who refuse to share photos of their children electronically...or they use the apps that delete the photo within a certain time period. They're afraid of 1) that their children will be embarrassed later and 2) that pedophiles will use the photos

What do you think? Are some parents going overboard on this?

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I'm not sure people's level of comfort with sharing mugs of themselves with the entire world is also indicative of paranoia. For multiple reasons, not just the ones you've stated. Same goes for their children. It's really up to them and I do not think it's right to shame or ostracize them in any way. Even though the internet has been around for a while - large scale use and access by the general public is still relatively new in the scheme of things. A few decades are baby steps, especially considering the rapid sophistication of technology.

Lämmchen said:

I read an article about paranoid parents who refuse to share photos of their children electronically...or they use the apps that delete the photo within a certain time period. They're afraid of 1) that their children will be embarrassed later and 2) that pedophiles will use the photos

What do you think? Are some parents going overboard on this?

Click to expand...

It seems to me that many parents slide to one extreme or the other.

Some parents post just about everything online which really does expose their children to more danger. If they post a picture titled something like "this is our little Josie ready for her first day at school" showing little Josie proudly wearing her school uniform (and maybe with the photo geotagged) then they've basically told the world what their daughter looks like, roughly how old she is (to within a year or two), where she lives and enough information to figure where she goes to school. Chances are anyone with ill intent won't take long to identify the school and then they know enough to probably convince poor Josie that they are a family friend who will take her home. After all, they know her name and where she lives so they clearly aren't strangers.

Then on the flip side you get the people who genuinely seem to think that they can prevent people from taking pictures that include their children, even if only incidentally. You get the "you can't be too careful" mentality that shifts into silly levels of paranoia because if someone really wanted to take covert pictures of children they probably wouldn't be using a clearly visible camera to do it. I remember a while back there was a case in England of a guy who was tagged as acting suspiciously because he was using a video recorder on the beach, but apparently recording nothing in particular - his camera was pointed at patches of sand and sea where nothing was happening. The police checked him out and it turned out he had a mirror attached to his camera so although it looked like he was just recording the waves he was actually recording small children playing with no clothes on. When just about any interaction between a child and an adult they don't know (particularly a man) is considered inherently suspicious it does little more than fragment society while doing very little to actually protect children.

Many years ago a friend of mine asked me to take Christmas pictures at their children's preschool party. They had a guy dressed as Santa and wanted someone to take pictures of the kids on Santa's lap. Every parent had the option whether they wanted pictures taken or not (only a few asked me not to take pictures). They gave me advance warning that one of the parents worked for a very well known software company and would aggressively object to any pictures being taken of their children, although curiously those parents took one look at the setup and gave the OK to take the pics.

ImaginaryDay2 said:

Actually, I think they're the sane ones. "Over-sharing", as it were, seems to be the more pathological (in a layman's sense) behavior when it comes to these issues. Part of a report that I was reading (that I can't link to, sorry) gives examples of significant information that can be gleaned about family structure, names, addresses, and personal information - all from merely making a public post about a child on 'Facebook'. The authors note that much more information could be available to those who are on a 'friends' list, or those to whom a post might appear on their page.
The report is:

"Children Seen But Not Heard: When Parents Compromise Children's Online Privacy", Proceedings of the 24th International Conference on World Wide Web, Pages 776-786

If anyone can to access it through a University library or whatever, which is how I got hold of it. I've just had a chance to peruse it a bit, but it looks interesting.

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I'm still amazed that things like "mother's maiden name" are considered acceptable security questions in the Age of Faceache.

When someone lists her name as "Betsy Forbes Campbell" it doesn't take a genius to figure that she was probably Betsy Forbes and then married Mr Campbell. It takes less of a genius to figure that the people she lists as "son" or "daughter" in her profile have a mother whose maiden name was Forbes.

Lämmchen said:

I read an article about paranoid parents who refuse to share photos of their children electronically...or they use the apps that delete the photo within a certain time period. They're afraid of 1) that their children will be embarrassed later and 2) that pedophiles will use the photos

What do you think? Are some parents going overboard on this?

Click to expand...

Yes, I do think that parents can go overboard about not wanting to have photographs taken of their children and I suspect they haven't taken into consideration that their children will be photographed at practically every venue they visit be it the museum, a restaurant, fun community events and the like because other families are taking photos and don't know wait until the area is all clear of other children. These children will be on other social media sites unless parents make that extreme sacrifice of never taking their children anywhere to avoid having photographs taken and what sort of like will the children have then?

Some are paranoid like the dad from a friend of my son in school. For 2 years I had been taken care of that kid once or twice a week cuz his parents were too lazy to go out with him. They'd just let him outside alone, 7 years old. My then 8 yo was making a movie w my phone and that boy all of a sudden showed his butt to them to be funny. Didn't even know. I was cosily sitting on a bench and they played under a bridge. Then I was a pedo. It was on my phone. He yelled at me that I shouldn't dare put it on youtube. Said to my sons: we're gonna make big money w that butt from Thijs.

Lämmchen said:

Be careful having that on your phone. Not that you're a perv, but people can get really weird about stuff like that.

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Oh I removed it immediately and showed him. Then still he said dont put em on youtube. Just threw all those stupid movies he made that day away, didn't even check 'em.
They had no idea what their kid was even doing outside alone. I told him they were lazy and i wasn't a free nanny who was gonna raise their kid for em.

imdeadandidontknowit said:

Oh I removed it immediately and showed him. Then still he said dont put em on youtube. Just threw all those stupid movies he made that day away, didn't even check 'em.
They had no idea what their kid was even doing outside alone. I told him they were lazy and i wasn't a free nanny who was gonna raise their kid for em.

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Yep. You don't want your kid's butt on my phone? You take care of him.
Kids are going to be kids. At 7 and 8 years old, this is within the bounds of 'normal stuff' (for them) anyway. You aren't the "boundary police" except with your own kids.

I think a good rule of thumb is to think about how your child may feel about it in 10 or 20 years. If it were you in that picture, would you want it all over the net when you are older or would it embarrass you? I think those who are more secretive about their children may be secretive not only for protective purposes, but to preserve a relationship between parent and child. A parent who respects their child will be more careful about which pictures to post, how frequent, etc. And if a child is old enough, get their permission. What we as adults might think is cute, might be a source of shame or embarrassment for them. Also, there are privacy settings and I think more parents should start using them. Personally, as a parent-educator/social worker, I would rather see paranoid parents as opposed to those who over-share everything.