Lucian's blog thread

[Lucian Hodoboc]

This is not your average blog thread. Here you will find short rants, updates about my life, that I feel comfortable with sharing, and all sort of random things that will likely be very short/brief because I am not fond of writing long posts anymore. Feel free to leave replies because I don't like to double post (making consecutive posts in a thread is a pet peeve of mine).

I am currently going through a severe faith crisis, and I have a lot of health and family issues. I've argued with God and rebelled against Him several times over the past months. In January I finished reading the New Testament again. In February and March I contemplated the possibility of apostatizing, but I cannot do it because I have experienced God's existence in the past. I am left with the cognitive disonance that God exists, but I disagree with His choices for the life He gave me. I have no idea how to love Him. I have asked Him to make me love Him so many times over the past year. I am close to losing faith in having a future and the fear of ending up in hell for eternity is mentally-paralyzing. I feel as if I am unable to reflect upon that reality.

 

[Lamb]

You have had it rough with your health so it's easy to see why you're mad at God. Praying this blog helps you through a lot of your struggles.

 

[tango]

In a blog type thread I really wouldn't worry about posting multiple posts with nothing else in between. If it's about giving you a space to share thoughts it's entirely possible you'll have something else you want to post before anyone replies to a previous comment.

For what it's worth it's perfectly possible to accept the existence of God, accept that God loves us, while also struggling to understand what God is doing at any given time. Sometimes the best we can come up with is an acceptance that there is an answer to our question, even if we can't see what it is right now.

I forget the exact quote attributed to Charles Spurgeon but it ends with the comment that even if we can't see God's hand we can trust his heart.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

My health is getting worse and worse and my future is uncertain, but I'd like to share one of the recent paintings I made:

Spoiler

 

[Lamb]

That looks great! Your textures and fabric flow are incredible. Great job!!

Sorry you aren't doing well healthwise.

 

[tango]

That's an impressive painting. Do you sell your art?

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

Do you sell your art?

Do you think anyone would buy it?

 

[Lamb]

Do you think anyone would buy it?

I think there is a buyer out there for any art and it's only a matter of finding the right buyer for the right price. A lot of people sell on Etsy or eBay and I started out selling on eBay online before doing any other selling on my website (which I gave up and another artist has the domain now, so that's cool).

 

[tango]

Do you think anyone would buy it?

I think you'd find buyers. You could make prints and sell them (which can be a good business, as they can be pretty cheap to make) and, if you're inclined, you could sell the original for a substantially higher price.